Pure Baby and Sage Lady

Photo: AP / Edit: Me

Photo: AP / Edit: Me

Recently I've been turning to this idea of threading the "past, nascent me" with the "future, evolved me."  Trying to know both gals a bit better.  What do they love to do for fun?  Do they have fears?  What is their favorite time of day?  Favorite colors?  Favorite flavors?

I have already been my young self -and I know her so intrinsically- yet we've been separated by years of societal and environmental pressures and expectations.  (For so long I cooped her up in time-out, but I'm finally letting her out to go climb trees.)  The little one is our purest expression of happiness.  Our unapologetic pursuit of joy.

I have yet to know my future self, but have the most comforting and magical time dreaming of her.  All that I currently am is a mere building block of what she will be.  She is possibility.  But that word doesn't even seem to carry ample weight.

I think symbolically of the Twin Towers on the early morning of August 7, 1974, when Philippe Petit performed his awesome aerial feat.  Just like the high-wire on which Petit danced, our lives are anchored by two structures, both identical yet markedly distinct: the Pure Baby and Sage Lady.

~We are now somewhere in-between~

We are Petit, who walks the line with his gaze focused neither on the building ahead nor behind (i.e. obsessed with who/what/where we will be in the future or the decisions we made in the past), but rightly on the present, immediate step.  And our onward motion is propelled by our confident ties to both towers.  Our life's wire is anchored securely and forever to both versions of us.

By cultivating and deepening a relationship with myself, I've gained a dynamic and unshakeable feeling of strength.  When I feel mired in toxic mental clogs (especially by that double-sided minx known as Instagram, who sparks creativity but also the comparison game), I can now readily hear the voices of Baby and Lady affirming:

"I am enough."